continuing to exist out there
This picture of me mostly naked and drinking wine in a wig was liked 68 times on facebook and I thought that was like “whoa!” but then I shared a picture of me and my cat and it somehow collected 124 likes so I guess you win again, cats.
I went skinny dipping last night and swam into a rock and chipped my tooth. It’s staying until mid-August when I go back home to see my dentist. I already like it a little too much.
Fulfilled a small housewife dream this morning and led a repairman into our apartment and up the stairs all while wearing this tiny gauzy thing that my apartment lovingly refers to as “The Slut Rag”
— I JUST WANT TO BE CLEAR WITH THE FACT THAT SOMEBODY SAID THIS TO ME
Here are some photos taken by my webcam and never shared.
I HAVE THIS WEIRD LITTLE CUT ON MY NOSE BECAUSE I GOT DRUNK ON FRIDAY AND MY BOYFRIEND HAD TO DRAG ME OUT FROM UNDER A BUSH BY MY ANKLES BECAUSE I CRAWLED UNDER IT AND SHOOK ITS BRANCHES IN MY FACE WHILE SCREAMING “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I’VE NEVER THANKED YOU FOR BEING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL BUSH”
I’m in the kitchen trying to eat and get drunk and write a paper before going to a funeral party and I have four fussy men telling me I’m not doing it fast enough.
life update: “you’re so messy. I can’t decide if it’s sexy or gross.”
- “I have not read most of the big 19th — century novels that people consider “essential,” nor most of the 20th-century ones for that matter. But this...”
Instead of waiting in her tower, Rapunzel slices off her long, golden hair with a carving knife, and then uses it to climb down to...
- “It’s hard for us to believe what we’re hearing these days. Thousands are losing their homes, and gays want a day named after Harvey Milk. The US...”
So much sexual tension coming from this barista. That’s right, trip over your words and touch my hand you beautiful nerd. I bet you feed your dog...
should everyone be allowed to wear winged eyeliner? what’s the minimum amount of Kurt Vonnegut books you should have to read before you’re allowed...